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Item number: 1234567890
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Starting bid 9.75
Time left: 4 days 6 hours
10-day listing
Ends 08-Dec-04 15:43:26 GMT
Start time: 28-Nov-04 15:43:26 GMT
History: 0 bids
Item location: London
United Kingdom
Post to: Worldwide
Postage costs: 1.50 -  Royal Mail 1st Class Standard (Within United Kingdom)
 Postage and payment details
Description   Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item.

"Lucky Seven Time Right Back!" sang Canvey Island 's son Lew Lewis. No idea what he was going on about, but just possibly it was a spooky prediction for the runaway success of this white knuckle rollercoaster of an auction, now in its 'Lucky Seventh' listing.

For those who don't know, 'FCB 1.5' is a stunning creation based on Lady Penelope's Thunderbirds Rolls Royce, and Canvey Island's famous Concrete Barge. It is lovingly crafted from high quality materials: a rare Dinky WW2 Amphibious Dukw 'Duck', a bit of Das modelling clay, pink paint, plastic Hotwheels windows, cooking-foil, matchsticks, Tippex. It has been produced in a Limited Edition of exactly ONE. You can't get more unique than that.

The original concept first appeared in the celebrated 'Thunderbarge' digital art eBay auctions, and if you compare the vehicle to the artwork you can't fail to conclude that this is a precision replica of the utmost craftsmanship and fidelity. Also shown are some other Thunderbarge digital art auctions which you missed out on, but can view at - 'The World's Favourite Concrete Barge Website' TM.

Once again it has been reduced by 5p. Who will blink first? Wait another week, or miss out on the trophy-investment of a lifetime. It is possible this item could re-sell for upto 8million. Always consult your financial advisor. Your comments and questions are always welcome and will be added to the item description. Here's a selection of the bouquets FCB 1.5 has received from a discerning public:

Q:  What the hell is this meant to be!!,looks like a blind retarded kindergarten kid made it with no arms!!!!,its a real hunk of shite!!,i,ve seen it all now!!,you must be a comedian!!its the crappiest,ugliest thing i have ever seen on ebay and it should be thrown straight in the rubbish bin!!looks like a pile of icecream on a rooted dinky duk!!,what a joke!!

A:  Thank you for your encouraging comments. I heartily agree, this is a cutting-edge work of contemporary art and an ideal gift for that special person. Happy bidding!

Q:  what a load of u really think us islanders would like this heap of junk? i don't think so

A:  I'm an islander and I think it's magnificent. Your criticism is somewhat invalidated by your own auction item no. 5927280930

?Q:  at least i sold my pink item,maybe my buyer would like to buy yours....but i guess its to expensive to run

A:  My pink item item is being reduced by 5p every week and will be the same price as yours late 2007. I think a discerning bidder will have stepped forward by then.

?Q:  Nice to see they let the 'special' folk have an internet connection and your auction seems to have attracted them. Are you also selling the "pile of icecream on a rooted dinky duk" and if so whats the combined postage?

A:  This item is now relisted and has already attracted the differently gifted.

Q:  I think you'll be waiting a long time mate!!..but good luck.

?    A:  It's OK, Van Gogh never sold a painting in his life. But he didn't have eBay and all I need is one discerning art lover.

?Q:  mhist all crukin fighty,youve about as much chance of selling that as i have of finding a cyclops with a glass eye,good luck,ron

A:  Wrong Ron! It will sell because I'm reducing it by 5p every week, making it FREE sometime in 2008. Thereafter I shall pay bidders to take it away.

?Q:  hi does this come with shit roll and has it got a box or is it a cardboard tube ps will it fit round the s bend thanx

A:  This should not go in the toilet. Please wait for Thunderbarge 4.5.

?Q:  Hi,awesome!,how much to air post this little critter to new zealand with full insurance because god forbid if anything happened to it on the way over like falling out the air craft or squashed by a bigmack or even customs getting hold of it!i just wouldn't want to risk it!,it will look real nice beside my "flab 1" and suck like!,thanks.

A:  The postage charge includes insurance at the bid amount. I am unable to insure for its true worth, which is about 800,000.

?Q:  is there any mention of rob benfield on the vehicle?

?    A:  No, but you can have any name inscribed with your favourite obscenity for no extra cost.

?Q:  Are you seriously spending valuable time creating pink shite like this when you could be sittiing in a pub talking to really cool people with plenty of smart conversation and left field sparkle? Jim

A:  Thank you for your question. Yes, I would be happy to autograph it for you or enscribe a dedication if bought as a gift. If you are lucky enough to win this auction I can deliver it in exchange for a foaming pint of nut-brown ale.

Q:  Hi, I want to thank you for making me piss my self, this is some funny shit. Never gonna sell though. Also, I left you some positive feedback on 12/09/04 - please don't forget to leave me some. Thanks!

A:  Never gonna sell? Never say never. Damn I've said it three times

?Q:  I like it, I'm not buying but, I like it.

A:  Thanks, but I fear that you will live your life with bitter regrets, drinking cider on a park bench and waving your fist at passers by. Best just to buy the item : ) ?Q:  Have you got a yellow one?.. it just might look better in yellow, then again maybe not.. have you got it in red?.. it might look better in red... possibly not..have you... oh forget it, it'll look shite in any colour.. and i don't want it.. unless.. have you...

A:  It was originally metalic pink, and that REALLY looked shite. A respray would cost 5 extra - but frankly it would probably spoil it.

?Q:  do u really think people from canvey need this shite,if u love it so much you keep it..we islanders dont

A:  You're right, it is an ideal gift for anyone who loves Canvey, but should also appeal to concrete barge fans all over the world. Happy bidding.

Q: Is it true that the new Politically correct female 007 Bond film may feature this aqua / road & possibly flying vehicle or should I be wary of what I read on the internet?

A:  I am instructed not to discuss any mult-million dollar deals involving FCB 1.5. The intellectual propety rights belong to webmaster of, but the Thunderbarge brand is one of my products so we both stand to make serious money. Obviously the ownership of this ORIGINAL vehicle would bring the buyer untold riches too. 800,000 has been estimated by some authorities.

Q: is it possiably to take out on a road test?

A:  Unfortunately there's an insurance problem with a test drive (or more correctly 'test push' - it's a Dinky toy for Pete's sake). Like the Mona Lisa, it is so unique and priceless that no one will insure it. I can't run the risk of you're being involved in an international art theft conspiracy, determined to add this little gem to Munch's 'The Scream' and Van Gogh's 'Sea View at Scheveningen'. Rest assured this FCB is roadworthy and the only defect is that one of the hubcaps keeps falling off.

Q: You'll never sell that - what IS it made of? Plastercine? its been up for sale for weeks

A:  It is a metal Dinky vehicle, with some Das modelling clay, repainted with metallic pink paint, then resprayed with normal pink as the metallic one looked shite . The windows are from a Hotwheels car and the hubcaps and radiator grill are made from cooking foil, Marks & Spencers I beleive. The FCB 1.5 number plates were designed with Microsoft paintbox and printed on genuine paper. The wooden slats are hand-cut Swan Vesta matchsticks, made from environmentally sustainable Swedish timber and painted with Windsor and Newton purple water colour paint. The authentic offensive graffitti was painstakingly researched from the archives of (do visit the site - it's the best concrete barge website ever) and is executed in Tippex. The simulated slat nails were drawn with a WH Smith 2H pencil. I stake my reputation on this definitely selling, eventually.

Q: Nice new picture - Perhaps take it with you on trips for photos in zany locations over the next few years listings? - Unless somebody snaps it up for a Christams present for Chav Junior.

A:  I would get a photo of it speeding past the Maurice Road siren but am worried the hubcabs will fall off. I envisage this being bought by one of the Saatchi brothers rather than a common chav.

Q: Its lookin better everytime I see it... gee my glasses want changing... sure you aint got it in blue?

A:  Wouldn't blue look faintly ridiculous (as opposed to how it looks now)? Respray would be + 5, which is cost of paint aerosol. That's why it started at 10, because I wasted 5 on a really shite metallic pink, then spent another 5 on the resplendent hue we see today. (Note to self: remember to list partly used paint sprays on eBay).

Earlier this year cashed in on the release of the Thunderbirds movie by launching a series of hilarious 'Thunderbarge' digital art auctions, featuring the legendary Concrete Barge of Canvey Island. The auctions - which were about as successful as the film - can be viewed at:

Now for the first time ever, is offering for sale the totally gorgeous "FCB 1.5": a six-wheeled pink ferro concrete barge (FCB) based on Lady Penelope's Rolls Royce.

Technical details:

    Customised rare Dinky DUKW appx 5 inches.
    Genuine silver foil hubcaps (one has recently fallen off but will be superglued back on for the lucky buyer).
    Authentic wooden slats.
    Real plastic windows.
    Front and rear FCB 1.5 numberplates.
    Realistic silver-foil Rolls Royce radiator grill.
    Hand painted authentic Concrete Barge grafitti, including 'Chris Hunt' and 'My name is Skip. You C*nt'.

You are bidding on a work of art, an heirloom and a very wise investment. Bear in mind the original Thunderbirds car recently sold in the region of 800,000, and was nowhere near as gorgeous as this exquisetly crafted vehicle.

Payment by Paypal or UK cheque. Postage 1.50 to UK, 3.00 to Europe, 5.00 USA / Worldwide.

That website again:

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Q: Very Good answered on: 01-Dec-04 
   A:  Isn't it though?

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